The sound of silence

Posted on January 3, 2017 by

Hello, security? Just to let you know that we didn't hear the fire alarm test in our department today. Uh ... we didn't actually run the test today. Oh – that'll explain it. But we did put out a tannoy announcement to say that we weren't going to... I didn't hear that, either.

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Breakout room … broken

Posted on December 22, 2016 by

The former stationery store is being repurposed as part of our 'multi-purpose workspaces' initiative. Is it, now? Yes – we're piloting it as a prayer room for our muslim colleagues. How many of those do we have? None. But we can set aside booked time for other uses. Would I be allowed to— Yes. Hang on though, it's still full of stationery. Yes, that's another of its multiple purposes.

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World’s worst pun

Posted on December 24, 2015 by

What's this in the Dec. issue of Dermatological Review? A bound-in sheet of 180GSM stock with photos of various red skin complaints. Why? It's an eczemas card!

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Frequency asked questions

Posted on October 22, 2015 by

'Quarterly Transactions in Periotology' seems to be doing well. Everybody calls it Q-TIP. In fact it's getting so many accepted submissions that we're increasing its frequency to five issues a year. Doesn't that mean we'll have to rename it? Er... Oh, balls.

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Be sure always to call it please, ‘research’

Posted on October 6, 2015 by

Seb, here's the new company ethics policy. Can you put it up on the website? Let's see. Coo, this is pretty good. Who wrote it? I don't know, I just copied it off the Batley University Press site and changed the names.

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Bee serious

Posted on June 20, 2015 by

This afternoon I'll be meeting with B.D. Klein, the editor of Apiarist Review, to discuss possible strategies for reversing the fall in subscribers. New features to make it more exciting and engaging. Anyone have any ideas? "Readers' Hives"? You do know you said that out loud?

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Air a grievance

Posted on May 28, 2015 by

Where did the wormhole take you when you were accidentally sucked through the I.T. Portal? To the new offices on Titan. What are they like? They look cool, but the atmosphere stinks. You mean there's no banter or camaraderie? No, I mean the air smells of hydrogen sulphide.

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