Clickbait

I see the new head of digital marketing we headhunted from Buzzfeed is making his mark. How so? The home page of the Operational Research Academy Journal now says, 'Prof. Dhaliwal calculated a solution for the two-machine job shop scheduling problem – you'll never guess what happened next.' Ah yes – here it is, and the article itself is now spread across 23 separate pages.

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Management insight

If you have followed this strip over the long term, you may be wondering how my production team are still here, considering how the company decided to outsource production to Merlock Services on Titan four years ago. I have achieved this by flying under the radar, and employing a business technique known as 'chiral nescience'. This means, 'The right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.'

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Apps-a-daisy

Paige, I was talking to your uncle Iain for thirty minutes about responsive web templates before I found out he's an ecclesiastic architect and monumental stonemason. But I told you he's designing the apse for the new site of the cathedral. He asked me what I thought of Stone fonts and I said I liked how the serif and sans variants work together as a coherent superfamily.

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Here we go round…

We've got an office reorganization scheduled for next Thursday. What, another one? Can I request that you don't play music through the company P.A. system while we're moving our workstations this time? Why? I thought that was soothing. It's just we always suspect that when the music stops, one of us will have had our chair taken away.

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Repurposable content

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Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more

A jolly Christmas! Surprise! It be me, Zork! On Titan, we have similar gifting festivity. It be called,

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The sound of silence

Hello, security? Just to let you know that we didn't hear the fire alarm test in our department today. Uh ... we didn't actually run the test today. Oh – that'll explain it. But we did put out a tannoy announcement to say that we weren't going to... I didn't hear that, either.

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