The sound of silence

Hello, security? Just to let you know that we didn't hear the fire alarm test in our department today. Uh ... we didn't actually run the test today. Oh – that'll explain it. But we did put out a tannoy announcement to say that we weren't going to... I didn't hear that, either.

Advertisements
Image | Posted on by | Leave a comment

Breakout room … broken

The former stationery store is being repurposed as part of our 'multi-purpose workspaces' initiative. Is it, now? Yes – we're piloting it as a prayer room for our muslim colleagues. How many of those do we have? None. But we can set aside booked time for other uses. Would I be allowed to— Yes. Hang on though, it's still full of stationery. Yes, that's another of its multiple purposes.

Image | Posted on by | Leave a comment

World’s worst pun

What's this in the Dec. issue of Dermatological Review? A bound-in sheet of 180GSM stock with photos of various red skin complaints. Why? It's an eczemas card!

Image | Posted on by | 1 Comment

Frequency asked questions

'Quarterly Transactions in Periotology' seems to be doing well. Everybody calls it Q-TIP. In fact it's getting so many accepted submissions that we're increasing its frequency to five issues a year. Doesn't that mean we'll have to rename it? Er... Oh, balls.

Image | Posted on by | Leave a comment

Be sure always to call it please, ‘research’

Seb, here's the new company ethics policy. Can you put it up on the website? Let's see. Coo, this is pretty good. Who wrote it? I don't know, I just copied it off the Batley University Press site and changed the names.

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Bee serious

This afternoon I'll be meeting with B.D. Klein, the editor of Apiarist Review, to discuss possible strategies for reversing the fall in subscribers. New features to make it more exciting and engaging. Anyone have any ideas? "Readers' Hives"? You do know you said that out loud?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Air a grievance

Where did the wormhole take you when you were accidentally sucked through the I.T. Portal? To the new offices on Titan. What are they like? They look cool, but the atmosphere stinks. You mean there's no banter or camaraderie? No, I mean the air smells of hydrogen sulphide.

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , | Leave a comment